The longest walk. Some things, we measure in time, others, we measure in pain, or emotion. I took the longest walk I’ve ever taken yesterday. Though I know it may not be the longest of my life, it was the longest for the people of Cambodia. I learned of the absolute horror that once plagued Cambodia… the reign of Khmer Rouge- a mass genocide of their own people… we visited the killing fields, and the S-21 museum which once stood as a high school. Every place I looked my heart grew heavier for these people.
I’m still trying to process what I’ve learned and seen, so I thought writing it out might help, though I know there are some evils in the world I will never be able to fully comprehend.
As I walked along the path at the killing fields, a mass burial ground where thousands died, I saw actual human remains and clothing still stuck in the ground… it’s one thing to watch a movie about crime or whatever, it’s completely different to be standing right there in person not only seeing what’s left of them, but remembering who they might’ve become had they not died.. I saw the skulls of many older folks who still had wisdom to share. I saw the skulls of men and women who still had children to raise. I saw the skulls of children who’s smile and laughter is now missing…
As I continued on the path, i looked up and my legs grew shaky. I thought I was gonna pass out from the sight. I stopped in front of a tree covered in bracelets and items to honor the dead standing next to giant pit that was fenced in. Buried in the pit were 160 mothers and babies.. the tree that stood, covered in many colors, was used to kill the children. Infants’ skulls smashed into this one tree, I will never forget. What kind of man could do such a thing? How can one hate someone so much, when they don’t even know them?
A quote by Pol Pot himself: “to keep you is no benefit, to destroy you is no loss”
Unable to hardly process what my eyes had seen, I pressed onward to the S-21 museum. This place. The place that at the time, passers by called a place of no return, was once a normal high school. A place where children laughed and played. A place where learning was encouraged and morals were taught, had become the most horrific place that only had 7 survivors… each room in all three buildings was filled with an evil that has scarred Cambodia permanently . Prisoners were beaten and tortured for answers that did not exist. Normal garden tools had become tools for torture for the simple fact that it was cheaper. Anyone who screamed out in pain would be tortured even more and sometimes, a family member or someone of importance would be brought in to watch.. barbed wire was put up to stop people from jumping and trying to commit suicide. now, as a museum, each room is filled with the photos and stories of the dead. I stood in silence as I looked into the eyes of all those who once called Phnom Phen home, and wondered what they’re name was. Did they know Jesus? Did they have a hope that gave them life even when they were staring into the eyes of death? What was their last thought? Some of the photos showed faces filled with hate, others pain, and some acceptance. A few photos stood out to me, when I saw a few prisoners pictures of them smiling… still I will never know…
This is not the most pleasant blog you’ve ever read, and I left out most details simply because to write it out is too hard for me.. however, sharing this with you all is important. Knowledge is power.. it just depends how one uses such a thing.. we are all keepers of memory. Knowing the atrocities that happened here helps us to understand the people we serve here today..
I remember one story, of a girl who was taken by soldiers and raped. When word of this happening got around she had to leave her home town because her family and community was ashamed and embarrassed of her. She carried this shame with her for 30 years before telling anyone else of what had happened to her.. most people here do not cry or express emotion the way we do. Knowing what happened then, helps us to understand the kids I work with daily. They’ve lost so much even if they weren’t alive during the genocide. Their parents are gone, and some of their siblings are separated from them. Some kids here at the orphanage have been here for 14 years… getting them to open up is very different from America. They talk of their life and family, but it’s hard to let them feel open about expressing their feelings. My mission is to share the joy God can give them.
Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support. Please, if you ever get the chance, look more into what happened here in Cambodia. It’s important to know, even if you don’t come here. I’ve learned so much about humanity as a whole and discovered a whole new meaning of Christ’s love for us…
With all the love in the world, Brooke
PS below are a few photos of the museum and killing fields. I did not take them since it was not allowed, so thank google. Look at the photos at your own risk, but please, after reading this, pray about what you have learned, ask God to reveal to you what it is He wants you to do
